Proverbs 31:26-27

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness

How we speak to our husband within our marriage is so important.  Words of wisdom and kindness easily flow out of our mouths at times, but there are certainly times they do not.  God instructs us to be “slow to speak” because it gives us time to consider our words and the consequences of them.  (James 1:19). When we are wise with the language that we use toward us husband, we can contribute so much love and goodness in our marriage. 

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…” James 1:19.

Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit, which means that God possess it and expects us to reflect him through it.  (Galatians 5:22).  Being kind to our own husband should come naturally when we practice unconditional love.  But that’s the key word: practice.  We practice unconditional love, but it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to perfect.  To love our husbands the way God loves us, would mean to be selfless, forgiving, and always loving.  I personally have not perfected this act of unconditional love, even though I try my best.

In the easy, carefree moments of quality time with my husband, sure, it’s easy to be wise with my words and speak kindly.  It’s in the difficult moments that I am still learning to hold my tongue.  It’s in the moments of stress, disagreement, and hardship that I find myself letting go of wisdom and biblical advice and allowing myself to speak harshly or disrespectfully.  I never feel good about it.  In fact, all it does is take away from the love my husband should feel from me and replaces it with lies of the enemy.  Lies that tell him he’s not good enough, or doesn’t do enough, or isn’t man enough.  Lies that just aren’t true.  Lies that I tell him when I am speaking unkindly in my frustration. 

I don’t want my husband to believe those lies.  I want my husband to forever be built up as a man, feel cherished and respected, and loved, so loved.  I want my husband to know that I adore who God created Him to be and am grateful for our marriage.  I want my words to be life giving and full of grace when I speak to him.  I want my words to reflect the unconditional love that I promised him when I said, “I do”. 

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as your are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

When we speak only life over our husbands and into our marriage, we become more of a wife of noble character.  This wife “suffers nothing from laziness” and neither should we.  We start by being careful with our words, and watchful of how they effect our marriage.  It is lazy to speak unintentionally and allows the enemy to enter our thoughts and use our words as an attack against our marriage.  But when we are careful, taking time to think before we speak, or better yet, pray before we speak, the enemy has no power over our tongues. 

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”  Proverbs 15:4.

We are here to encourage, build up, and love our husbands.  We are here to be wives who speak with wisdom and kindness.  We are here to serve God through our marriages.  That is why we are taking the time to study God’s Word on becoming a wife of noble character.  So, wife, speak kindly and gently, and give grace the way our Father does.  Love your husband through your words so that he will never doubt how unconditional that love is that you have for him. 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21.

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