When we become a wife, we are told of all the ways we become “one” with our husband. We are told our life is combined with his, tied together in a covenant with God. What I think confused me the most during my time as a newly married wife, was that God was calling me to something new and something that would take my time and attention. Was I truly supposed to answer this call? It was something God was calling me to, not my husband. Weren’t we supposed to be called together now? I had so many questions and doubts. I didn’t want to say yes to something that may distract me from my marriage and my new role as my husband’s wife.
In my first year of marriage, I felt called to write. I wrote this blog; I am writing a book. God tugged my heart to share what He was doing in me as a wife with others so that they might see His power, grace, and love. In that time, I have grown as a wife, yes, but I have grown in my faith as well. I have spent more time in His Word, I have paid more attention to His working in my life. I have learned to see Him and understand Him more clearly. It should really be no surprise to me that He would call me into something new again, yet here we are, and I am still reluctantly answering.
In my second year of marriage, God has called me to ministry. My phone rang, literally, and the voice on the other line was a friend asking me to take on a role she was looking to step out of. God was calling this woman, and wife, into something new as well. As we spoke, I felt God tug at my heart again, “say yes” He said. I told her I would think about it, pray about it, and ask my husband about it. Again, I did not want to step into something that might distract me from my marriage. And truthfully, I was a lot like Moses when God came to Him to lead, “who me? Are you sure? But I can think of a million other women who are more equipped for this! What about her?”.
But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11.
Oh Moses, I feel you man! I too am not well spoken or equipped to lead. I too would rather tend to my own little flock. I am so thankful for Moses and his obedience. Moses made every excuse there was to say no to God and still in the end said yes, because He trusted God at His Word. I went back to His Word with that same trust to find my own counsel. I found the same answers there that God gave Moses: “I will go with you”, “do not be afraid”, “I will send a friend to help you”. We all know how that story ends, God did exactly what He said He would.
God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.” Exodus 3:12.
So, as I learn to say “yes” to God’s call, every time He sends me into something new, I am learning that it doesn’t take strength, or preparedness, or even experience. I am learning that answering God’s call takes obedience. It takes trust that God will be there with me, as He says He will. And it takes being reminded of this on a daily basis, every time I want to make excuses to say “no”, just like Moses tried to do.
I don’t want to take on the world and leave my husband behind. Again, I am supposed to be one with him, yet it felt like God was calling us to separate things. I wanted to be obedient, of course, but I want to honor my marriage as well. How can my husband be called to travel for months at a time, and I am called to spend daily focus on a ministry I don’t even feel equipped to serve in? What does that even look like in a marriage, when God is calling a husband and wife to do their own work as individuals, while keeping them connected as one?
My husband plays professional baseball. If you asked me, I would not have chosen this life for us. It comes with adventure and precious memories, but it also comes with chaos. Baseball life feels like a rollercoaster in the dark, never knowing what twist or turn will come next, just trusting the bars will hold you in as you dive down each hill or get flipped upside down. I married into it and I always say, I could NEVER do this without my trust in God. He is the bars that strap me in when I feel like I’m falling. So, when God called me to write about my marriage, I thought “when will I have the time?” Somehow, I have found the time. God is now calling me into ministry, one that serves “Baseball wives and girlfriends”. I thought, “why me?”. You see, my husband plays professional baseball, but he has never been the big leagues and our experience in the game compared to so many is still so limited. I don’t even really like baseball! Why me, God?
It took a conversation with a friend of mine who has been married many years longer than I have to help me see the bigger picture. As a new wife, I often lean on the wisdom of wives before me who have been where I have been and whose experiences come with great advice. The wisdom of those wives who have gone before me is such an incredible resource. This friend reminded me of an important truth:
God is aligning His plans for me with his plans for my husband. I may not see what they are yet, but that’s not necessary when it comes to following His lead or answering His call. It was in talking with this friend of mine that I was reminded, He doesn’t need my experience or my wisdom. He doesn’t need me to have the same gifts as somebody else. He also doesn’t need me to take away from my marriage to serve Him. He will make a way and provide for me as long as I am obedient. She reminded me that He doesn’t need me to walk in anyone else’s shoes to serve Him. She encouraged me through her own obedience to Jesus, answering her own calling from Him. She has shown me how to be a wife who says “yes” to God and makes time for Him and my husband. Prioritizing Jesus, and then marriage, and making it all work for His glory.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28.
Billie Jauss is that friend. She is an author, answering God’s calling through her beautiful words that lead her readers back to Him. She is also a baseball wife, married to a coach in the MLB whose career takes them all over the map. She gets it. She lives it. She knows how I feel as I am learning to balance being a wife and a woman who serves Jesus. She has given advice, encouragement, and most importantly, she has reminded me to always fix my eyes on the Lord. I have read Billie’s writing and have seen how God uses her experiences in baseball life to grow her faith in Him, leading to words on paper that encourage me to do the same. Rely on Jesus. Say “yes” to Jesus.
My own calling does fit in my marriage. My husband’s calling does work with my own. We are still one. My husband’s career is full of God’s purpose for him and for us. God has used it to lead me into my own calling to serve women within the baseball community. As ill-equipped as I may feel, that’s where He has me. I am learning from Billie how to keep saying “yes” to God, honoring Him and trusting Him in obedience.
It’s so important to have those women we can look to for encouragement, guidance, and wisdom that only comes from experience. I am thankful for women in my own life who point me in the right direction when I am filled with doubt or fear. Women who point me back to Jesus and help me answer His call, time and time again.
You are certainly one with your husband, that fact remains. Just remember women like Billie when God comes knocking. Women who say “yes” to the calls and trust Him to provide what they need along the way. Your marriage needs you, wife, so trust that God will provide the time and energy for that even in answering the call He has for you. Then, step into whatever that is without fear of the future. Step into it knowing that Moses, a mild man who just wanted to herd his sheep led an entire nation out of slavery because God asked him to. Step into your calling knowing that it will all work out because God asked you, too.
Watch my conversation with Billie on the Instagram Live: Special Guest Series.
You can find more from Billie Jauss, here.
Follow Billie on Instagram.